Its not what you say, its how you say it.重点不在于你说道了什么，而在于你怎么说。Its an old cliché, but its true. Thats why body language is such a crucial part of communicating. The way you act can warp the entire meaning of what youre saying.这是老生常谈，但毕竟一条真理。身体语言在沟通交流中是十分关键的一部分，你的身体语言甚至可以使你的话背离原意。
That being said, bad body language habits are the often hardest habits to break. We become so accustomed to slouching, averting our eyes, or folding our arms that we barely even notice what were doing.尽管如此，很差的身体语言习惯往往是最好改成的酗酒。我们过于习惯于讨厌的坐姿、说出时不仰视他人，将双臂交叉抱于胸前，以至于自己都意识将近这些习惯的不存在。
Here are several body language mistakes that are going to be tough to ditch. Still, if youre able to quit them, youll definitely thank yourself later.以下是11种很难改成的身体语言错误。不过，如果你能改成它们，你以后不会为此而难过。
Fidgeting坐立不安If youve gotten into the habit of fidgeting, it can be difficult to snap out of it. However, its important to take steps to reigning in this nervous habit.如果你没人就爱人响腿，那么要改成这个习惯将不会很难。但是，采取措施来遏止这个神经质的习惯很最重要。
Fidgeting demonstrates nervousness and a lack of power, as body language expert and The Power of Body Language author Tonya Reiman previously told Business Insider.身体语言专家、《身体语言的力量》作者托尼娅雷曼早前曾告诉他《商业内幕》说道，响腿展现出出有一个人的紧张不安和弱势。Playing with your hair欺骗头发Leave your hair alone. Constantly running your hands across your scalp and twirling your locks is pretty distracting. Plus, as ABC reported, it can damage your hair overtime. It can be hard to quit, so try playing around a stress ball instead of your hair.别摸你的头发了。不时地捋头发和剥发梢非常令人分神。而且，据美国广播公司报导，长年这么做到不会伤害你的发质。
这种习惯很难改成，所以最差还是杀掉头发，试着去玩游戏压力球吧。Adopting a defensive pose防御性姿势Many people naturally cross their arms or hunch over a bit just because they dont know what to do with their hands.许多人很大自然地把双臂交叉或是用双臂支着前倾的身体，只是因为他们不告诉该拿自己的手怎么办。
However, this posture can make you look uncomfortable, defensive, or untrustworthy.然而，这种姿势却不会让你看上去不难受、正处于防卫状态，或不有一点信任。You should always keep your hands in view when you are talking, Patti Wood, a body language expert and author of SNAP: Making the Most of First Impressions Body Language and Charisma, previously told Business Insider. When a listener cant see your hands, they wonder what you are hiding.身体语言专家、《较慢入门：用身体语言营造最佳第一印象和个人魅力》的作者帕蒂伍德曾告诉他《商业内幕》说道：“在谈话的时候，你应当一直夹住放到别人看获得的地方。如果听众看到你的手，他们不会奇怪你在隐蔽什么。”Doing weird things with your hands做到一些怪异的手势To gesture or not to gesture? That is the question.做手势还是不做手势？这是个问题。
Some people keep too still while speaking, while others flail all over the place.有些人在讲话的时候呆立不一动，而有些人则是双手刀剑。As the Washington Post previously reported, behavioral consultant Vanessa Van Edwards notes that using hand gestures while speaking is actually an effective way to engage your audience.据《华盛顿邮报》先前的报导，不道德顾问瓦内莎凡爱德华兹认为，讲话时做手势是更有观众注意力的一种有效地的方法。The trick is, avoiding the hand gestures that will trip you up. Dont point, dont pretend to conduct an imaginary orchestra (seriously), and dont get too choreographed.诀窍在于，防止那些不会让你错误的手势。
不要指来指去、不要假装在指挥官一场想象中的交响乐（我可不是在打趣），不要故意设计动作。Shuffling instead of walking拖着脚回头而不是只想走路Humans are pretty judgmental creatures. We think we can tell a lot about someone based on snap judgments over something as simple as their manner of walking.人类是很讨厌辩称评判的生物。
我们以为自己起码凭借走路姿势这种非常简单小事就需要以小见大。As BBC reported, how we walk can actually determine our risk of being mugged.据BBC报导，我们的走路姿势事实上需要要求我们被偷窃的风险。It can be hard to change up your walk once youve fallen into bad habits, but its important to walk with confidence and coordination. Dont shuffle through life.一旦你构成很差的走路习惯，要转变走路姿势显然很难，但是热情协商地走路知道很最重要。
不要拖着脚步浑浑噩噩度日。Forgetting to smile记得微笑Reiman previously told Business Insider that smiling demonstrates confidence, openness, warmth, and energy.雷曼早前曾告诉他《商业内幕》说道，微笑展示出一个人的热情、对外开放、热情和活力。It also sets off the mirror neurons in your listener, instructing them to smile back. Without the smile, an individual is often seen as grim or aloof, she explained.她说明说道：“微笑还能启动时听众的镜像神经元，引领他们某种程度微笑以对。
如果脸上没笑意，一个人看起来就变得阴郁低冻。”Appearing distracted看起来心不在焉Theres nothing more irritating than talking to someone whos clearly not paying attention to you.再行没什么核对着一个心不在焉的人说出更让人恼怒的事情了。
Some people are just naturally distracted or busy, so it can be tempting to check your phone or watch at every available moment. Still, youve got to keep this impulse in check when youre around others. Otherwise, youll just come across as a rude and uncaring person.有些人只是被其他事迟疑或太忙所以才心不在焉，这种情况下人们很更容易偶尔地查阅手机或手表。但是，当你和别人在一起时，你还是要遏止寄居这种冲动。否则你在别人显然将是一个责备的没心没肺的人。Slouching弯腰驼背Stand up straight. Terrible posture is easy to develop, especially if youre slouched over a desk for the majority of the day.站直了。
一个人很更容易教导差劲的站姿和坐姿，特别是在是当一个人一天的大多数时间都伏案办公的情况下。Slouching doesnt just make you look un-confident, writes Catherine New for Psychology Today, its also bad for your back. Improve your health and the image you present to the world by standing up straight.《今日心理学》的编辑作者卡瑟琳纽写到，弯腰驼背不仅让你看上去不热情，而且对你的背部也有伤害。
站直既可以提高你的身体健康，也可以提高你的个人形象。Nonexistent or aggressive eye contact没眼神交流或是咄咄逼人的眼神交流Heres another body language pitfall where moderation is key.这是身体语言的另外众多陷阱，关键在于保守有助于。What Your Body Says (And How to Master the Message) author Sharon Sayler previously told Business Insider that the ideal amount of eye contact should be a series of long glances instead of intense stares.《你的身体在说什么（如何掌控身体语言）》的作者莎伦塞勒曾告诉他《商业内幕》，理想的眼神交流应当是“有间隔的扫视而不是深深的看著”。
Overly long stares can make whoever youre talking to pretty uncomfortable. On the other hand, averting your eyes indicates disgust or a lack of confidence.过长的看著不会让对方深感非常不难受。另一方面，防止眼神交流则表达出有你的反感或缺乏自信。Being too still呆立一动Its definitely good not to be jumping all over the place, constantly. However, you dont want to be too eerily calm during conversations. This may make people feel uneasy, or that youre not interested in what theyre saying.上蹿下跳的当然很差。但是，谈话当中你也无法展现出得过分僵硬。
这不会让人们深感忧虑，或指出你对他们所说的不感兴趣。Instead, try to mirror the person youre speaking with. Dont mimic them — theyll probably get offended by that — but subtly copy some of their gestures and expressions.你应当试着去不应和对方。
不是仿效他们——这可能会触怒对方——而是错综复杂地反复一些他们的动作和表情。Writing for Psychology Today, Dr. Jeff Thompson notes that mirroring will leave people perceiving you as positive and persuasive.杰夫汤姆森博士在给《今日心理学》编写的稿件中提及，不应和对方不会给人留给大力、有说服力的印象。It can be tough to break out of your poker face, especially if youre just naturally not that expressive — but its worth trying, since it can improve how youre perceived.要挣脱一本正经的“扑克脸”显然很难，特别是在是如果你天生表情就不非常丰富的话，但这有一点去尝试着转变，因为这能提高你在他人心目中的印象。Mismatching verbal and non-verbal communication身体语言和说出内容不搭乘You might be saying all the right things — but if your body language doesnt match up with your words, you might end up rubbing people the wrong way.你或许说道的每一句话都到底，但如果你的身体语言和你讲出的话不搭乘，你有可能就不会把别人惹毛了。
In fact, researchers at Sacred Heart University devoted an entire study to this phenomenon. Their subjects were married couples, but their finding was pretty universal — when verbal and non-verbal messages do not align, nonverbal signals carry the brunt of the emotional message.事实上，圣心大学曾多次专门研究过这种现象。他们的研究主体是未婚夫妇，但是研究结果却可以普遍地应用于其他人——当口头和身体所表达出有的信息不完全一致时，“人们主要看身体语言所表达的情感信息”。
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